tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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