Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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