How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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