And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
