But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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