It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
