WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
