Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
