Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
