I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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