Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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