Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
