Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
