We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
