You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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