In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
