so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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