She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
