I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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