bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize