I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
