You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
