Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize