I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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