I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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