i permit you to call me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
