Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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