Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
