4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
