i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
