That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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