These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
