In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Houston, we have a blender
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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