True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
