There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
