this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
