This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
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Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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