$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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