Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
