Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
