You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
