We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
