At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
