Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
