Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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