Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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