He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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