Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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