I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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