ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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