It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
