I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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