dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
