There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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