Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
