Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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