he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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